Saturday, May 29, 2010

Shopping at 30,000 ft.

Aboard a recent flight across the continent, I was greatly amused by the Sky Mall magazine in the pocket of the seat in front of me.  Maybe it was the altitude... the lack of oxygen up there might have gone to my head, but I thought this stuff was rather funny:

 The first thing to catch my eye was an ad for a device called Aculife.  It is a pen-like device that you press against you body to help you detect and heal hundreds of conditions..(aka ailments.)   It's advertised as "the latest in ancient technology," and FDA approved. It's  the latest in ancient technology, or so they say.

They know that sounds bizarre, to say it's the latest in ancient technology, but assure their potential costumers that it's better than carrying around something the size of a toaster oven to do the same thing.  They also say, "the best way to find out if the Aculife is right for you and your health is to try it."

 Maybe you need an underwater pogo stick?  This device will "enable you to splash effortlessly in shallow water!"  (Just what you always needed!)

This is an ad for gravity defying shoes. Yes, now you can "stop imagining" that you can defy gravity.... and buy these shoes with springs in the heals and you really can!

But only stop imagining for moment, you will need the power of your mind to do this "telekenetic obstacle course!"

Tired out, you can relax on this "capacious Hammock."  First of all however, you have to know what capacious means!

 Here's a face trainer.  Yes, train your face not to sag by wearing this special face suit and exercising your face....  who would have thought?  And, it is only $149.00!

Now for your toes...  they say this is comfortable, offering soothing relief....
  The do make such toe separators for nail polish, much less expensive too.  This pair of socks is 19.95.

Has your dog always wanted to know his genealogy?  i must say though, this pup seems a little depressed about the kit.

Then there was the amazing offer of a cookie diet. 

This is the latest in fashion.... for those who wear face masks.

They also offered these environmentally friendly, but very unattractive lawn items.

While you are into recycling, don't thow those 2 liter bottles away.... you can turn them into water rockets!

This woman is using a spray nozzle for sale in the magazine, to pray the dirt off of here upstairs windows.  Not only can you do this with this product in a QUICK and EASY way... but it's "FUN" too! 

The above item probably works best, not while you are driving, rather while you are waiting in LA traffic jams.

And if your cell phone is making you a prisoner, you really need this:

Now you will never get away... just strap it on!

And lastly, spray on hair... a full head of hair in 30 seconds!

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